True Blood Quotes



Here are some of the best True Blood Quotes. I have included several of my favorites from seasons 1 to 3 and a few from Season 4 which just started. Now this isn't all of them by any means...

Here are some of the best True Blood Quotes. I have included several of my favorites from seasons 1 to 3 and a few from Season 4 which just started. Now this isn't all of them by any means...

This show has some of the most wonderful dialogue I have heard of - even though it can be a good bit more rough (remember, this show is on HBO after all) than many shows you will see on TV. But if that is to your liking then you should have no problems - there is a good bit of cussing on the show, along with the nudity and "goryness" - but the conversations among the characters themselves can just be brilliant!

And a lot of my favorite True Blood Quotes I didn't even list because they are a bit too "blue" for this site - so if you want to hear even more of them, just watch the show for yourself and you'll get to hear these little True Blood Quotes as they happen. And the list below I've divided into 2 sections: one based on sayings from the humans on True Blood and the others from the vampires.

So, enjoy reading my favorite True Blood Quotes below - and if you have some I missed, please email them to me and I'll add them to the list below as soon as I get a chance. So let's get started reading a few True Blood Quotes right away ....


True Blood Quotes

True Blood Quotes - Humans

"I've been waiting for this to happen ever since they came out of the coffin 2 years ago." -- Sookie

"That boy is sex on a stick. I don't give a good damn how stuck up he is." -- Lafayette

"When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips. And I get even bigger tips when I act like I don't have a brain in my head" -- Sookie

"Now you're setting up a date with a vampire. What do you have, a death wish? " -- Sam

"Oh, my God! I think Merlotte's just got its first vampire. " -- Sookie

"You willing to pass up all your favorite foods and spend the rest of your life drinking slim-fast?" -- Sam

"What's a fangbanger? " -- Adele

"Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head. I don't think it gets much more personal than that." -- Sookie

"Don't say UH-OH! Vampires do NOT say UH-OH!" -- Sookie

"Giving Jason Stackhouse vampire blood is like giving Ho-Hos to a diabetic. You know he can't control himself."-- Tara

"Suppose she gets pregnant. How can she nurse a baby with fangs?" -- Arlene

"Maybe I'm just... unboyfriendable."-- Tara

"I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam" -- Sookie

"I just want to lick your mind!"-- Jason

"I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, alright? But honestly, who here hasn’t!" -- Arlene

"You don't need any help to look like a fool." -- Adele

"Your hair is like a sunset after a bomb went off! Pretty." -- Terry

"Don't blame the Ferrari just because yo' ass can't drive." -- Lafayette

" You just shut your nasty mouth mister. You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am." -- Sookie

" Eric, put up those fangs and do what I say." -- Sookie

" You're walkin' in my shoes, and it's givin' you blisters." -- Sookie

"This shit is goin' faster than fritters at a fat farm." -- Lafayette

"Now Jesus and I agree to see other people that doesn't mean we don't still talk from time to time." -- Lafayette

"I got skills you can't even dream of, cowboy." -- Sookie

"You've reached Officer Jason Stackhouse. If this is an emergency, dial 911 and ask for me."-- Jason

"It smell like where old air fresheners go to die." -- Lafayette

"Please don’t kill me. I’m pregnant. That probably just makes you want to eat me even more! This is why people hate y’all!" -- Arlene

"You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills whatsoever." -- Sam

"Is that your stomach growling or you got gas?"-- Jason

"Drunk and yelling. You're like Joe Lee in a Sam suit."-- Tommy

"Look, I get that you're in a mood, but you're polluting our positive energy vibes, and it's killing our tips."-- Holly

"This is Holly, your new waitress. Don't sleep with her." -- Arlene

"I have a fairy godmother? Okay, if your job is to look after me, can I just say you suck." -- Sookie

True Blood Quotes - Vampires

"Oh, but you have other very juicy arteries. There is one in the groin that's a particular favorite of mine." -- Bill

"Vampires do not drown. Because we do not breathe." -- Grabbit Quick Clerk

"The only vampire a vampire can trust is the vampire he made."-- Eric

"Tell her I was born the night she found me. Because of her I went to my true death knowing what it means to love."-- Eric

"Humans... honestly Bill, I don't know what you see in them."-- Eric

"Yes, thanks. I'm so happy, I could bleed". -- Queen Sophie-Anne

"When fate presents itself with such a grand opportunity, what else is one to do?" -- Bill

"Here's the truth. There are forces beyond even my control. If I meet the true death without ever having kissed you, Sookie Stackhouse, that would be my biggest regret."-- Eric

"Technology takes all the fun out of being a vampire."-- Pam

"You're the worst maker EVER!"-- Jessica

"We're always more than happy to serve you here at Fangtasia, and I don't mean for dinner."-- Eric

"Did you kill him? Please tell me you killed him because I will never get the cement out of my hair."-- Pam

"Such a strange sensation when the reality matches what you pictured in your mind so precisely."-- Eric

"Bill, I am not stupid. I'm just unfaithful."-- Jessica

"No wonder Bill is drawn to you. You're delicious."-- Lorena

"Dial it back a notch or two. You're starting to piss me off.."-- Pam

"A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them."-- Godrick

"She's as mad as a monkey on a trike and has been for centuries."-- Talbot

"I enjoy a good head ripping as much as the next vampire."-- Eric

"Is there blood in my hair?"-- Eric

"With what you are, fairy princess, you need to be somebody's or you won't be at all. Eric is handsome, he's rich, and in his own way, he cares about you. He REALLY does."-- Pam

"Your human is getting cocky."-- Eric

"Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chick lit memoirs and are bound together by estrogen or sisterhood some other feminist drivel?"-- Pam

"I'm so embarrassed. I'd die if I wasn't already dead!"-- Jessica

"Now go clean yourself up. You're covered in queen."-- Nan

"Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on?"-- Jessica

"I love you above all others."-- Godrick


Return from True Blood Quotes to True Blood on HBO

"They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret." -- Armand, Interview with the Vampire